teaching physics to the cows


That's what I yell when I ride past the cows and steers, grazing behind 5 strands of barbed wire. F=ma. A little Newtonian mechanics for all y'all. To chew on with your cud. F=ma. Assume linear. Neglect friction.


Most of them don't get it. Their faces look blank. "Will this be on the test? Do we have to know this?"

I thought they might be naturals. If there's anything a cow should understand, it's mass. They can accelerate too. I've seen it happen, especially when they're spooked by relativistic concepts. Zoom -- they're far away from those five strands of barbed wire, moving at near light speeds to the safety of the woods.

Except this one cow. I think she gets it. She looks straight at me, as if she's got a better purpose in life than cheeseburger. She radiates awareness. F=ma. Yesterday though, it had been raining, and the grass was so soft and green that she didn't even look up.

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