I've gotten used to the video camera and TV in my office.
It was difficult at first, but gradually I've become accustomed
to glimpses of my own face (so unimaginably pale
under the fluorescent lights) on the Media Space,
to my awkward hair line and crooked part,
to the way I slump in front of my computer monitor,
to the moire patterns in the drapes.

Then I see myself moving on the Media Space,
always furtive, like I'm shoplifting at the 7-11.

But I have not gotten used to the videotapes we make: I feel like I'm
engaged in some horrible act of voyeurism when I watch the same seven
seconds of a meeting twice.

I confess: when she rewound the videotape
to the point where I was talking,
I got up quickly and shot out of the room
without considering the consequences.


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